Moving to China from Europe: Perception and Reality

At the time of writing (2021), I’ve been living and working in China since 2011, mostly as part of a diverse Asia-Pacific team made up of Chinese, Indian, and other colleagues from across the region. Most of us have left our home countries to build careers abroad, and that shared experience has shaped us in many ways.

To get to know one another better — and to challenge some of the stereotypes we all carry — a few of us decided to share our stories through a series of one-on-one live interviews. We wanted to explore what drives people to move abroad, how our expectations compare with reality, and what we learn from living in a new culture.

Together with a Filipino and a Korean colleague based in Sydney, I volunteered to tell my own story: moving from Ireland to China for work. The following is a transcript of that interview, conducted in December 2021.

Where were you born and where did you grow up?

I was born in Dublin, Ireland. I spent the first 18 years of my life in a small suburb at the edge of Dublin. I then I spent the next 10 years either working or studying in various cities across Europe, such as Vienna, Graz, Berlin, Leuven, Barcelona and back to Dublin. While doing a masters degree in Leuven, Belgium I met and fell in love with a Chinese girl. After graduating in 2007 we spent a few years living in Dublin, before moving to Shanghai in 2011 and that's where we've been since, now married with two kids. So, Shanghai, of all places, turns out now to be the place where I have lived the longest in my adult life.

What was your perception on Shanghai/China before moving here?

In some ways it was like a black box to me. I knew that China was undergoing phenomenal changes at that time. I had watched a fascinating documentary called "manufactured landscapes" which depicted the sprawling factories, shipyards, coal mines and all sorts of infrastructure across China that was on a scale so unbelievable I had never seen anything like it before.

I definitely worried a bit about how I would adapt to life in China. Simple silly things like would I be able to get good coffee? Were there any pubs and music venues to socialize and meet people? I remember my wife at the time saying, 'you'll like Shanghai, it has a European feeling to it and it has a river running through it'. And it's true that there is a part of Shanghai which is still influenced by its colonial past, eg the former French concession - now called ‘old Xuhui’ - with it's really beautiful streetscapes that wouldn't look out of place in Paris. But that's just one small part of a giant mega city.

What’s the reason behind your movement?

Well employment for sure. In 2010 there was pretty much no work to be found anymore in my industry in Ireland. We were hit very hard by the global financial crisis of '08-'09. Myself and my wife were working in urban planning and urban design consulting studios and pretty much all companies like that were wiped out as the construction sector disappeared. There was zero work. We visited China in late 2010 for a work scoping missing. We did interviews in Beijing and Shanghai and came away with two job offers each. I couldn't believe it. Without speaking a word of Chinese I was able to find work there. We had to choose between Beijing and Shanghai and those the latter. Our plan was to ride out the European recession in China for a year or two but of course things didn't pan out that way.

What would be the 3 keywords you may want to use to describe Shanghai/China?

(Hard) Graft. Family. Food.

What were some of the culture shocks you experienced?

Where do I start? People skipping the queue in banks, to get food, to get on the bus, etc. especially older people. Like many features of public life here, that’s one that’s changed since I arrived in 2011 as urban social etiquette continues to evolve. I think it can’t be explained in simple terms except for the fact that city life is so still new for most Chinese. The rate of urbanization has gone from less than 20% in the 1980’s to well over 60% today.

The ubiquitous crowds and noisy streets were a type of shock also. I remember my first job my morning commute on the metro... heading onto the platform and seeing the immense crowd of densely packed people trying to get on the train and thinking 'wow, this is like nothing I have ever witnessed before'.

Something that still shocks me every so often, especially when travelling anywhere in China is the vast monotonous looking residential towers that are pretty much standard across all Chinese cities. I have to say I don't like super high rise residential towers and sometimes. I have always avoided living in such an environment myself. People say the air is better but I don’t want to be reminded that I live in a mega city of 25 million people every time I look out the window.

What do you like about Shanghai/China & what are the things you are not yet adjusted to?

On a practical level, I love the food; I adore the choice of food, the rich culture around food and the enjoyment people get around food, which is standard across China. I also love the friendliness of Chinese people and how amazingly safe Shanghai is. I have never felt like there is any antipathy towards me and I especially appreciate my Chinese in-laws for the way they have embraced me as one of their own. I still get called out as ‘waiguoren’ (foreigner) very frequently, but this is mostly by kids who are still not used to seeing foreigners who don’t look Chinese and don’t realise it’s a bit impolite to stare and point.

On a spiritual level, I think my experience here has definitely opened my mind to new ways of thinking about the world, and I think I have begun to understand Chinese and East Asian culture a tiny tiny little bit more than when I arrived and knew absolutely nothing. I love getting into discussions about eastern versus western philosophy, values and apparent contradictions. For example, I’ve learned that in China, reasonableness often matters more than reason. (in the Western sense of the word), as a means to get by in life. Starting with this notion helps me appreciate many things that at first glance appear contradictory or paradoxical. Actually, I think I have become much more adept at interpreting apparent contradictions, things that don't make sense at first glance, and making sense of the senseless. It's an absolute must for any foreigner coming to China, it's a coping mechanism actually; but it can be very rewarding also on a spiritual level, perhaps enlightening even.

As to the second part of your question, the things I am not yet adjusted to ... well, my mandarin is still not good enough...so I am missing out on whole aspects of the culture here derived from the intricacies of language.

One thing I will never fully get used to though is the extremely intricate rules of engagement and social etiquette, specifically the idea of ‘face’ — saving it, giving it, or avoiding losing it — influences almost every social interaction here, especially all forms of social occasions in personal and business life. Reciprocity is a fundamental part of how society works here - you scratch my back and Ill scratch yours. I think this is a very sophisticated way of social organization and it really ties the whole society together along with strict family values that are still as relevant today.

These social rules might seem complex at first, but they make sense once you understand the deep value placed on harmony and balance.

So just one example: giving red envelopes with money here is standard and a very practical and efficient means of exchange. But you have to pay super close attention to how much you received and ensure that when you go to give that person a red envelope back, say at a festival or wedding, that the amount is at least as much as what you got but preferably higher. Or if you are paying back someone a dinner, which you are absolutely expected to do, you should really try to ensure the dinner that you offer is at least as good if not better than what your friend offered to you. These are things that wouldn't register so much with people in Europe but are absolutely essential considerations here.

There are so many other things that are both bewildering and fascinating. I think the paradoxes of life and reality become ever more apparent the more you live here. Concepts of public and private are fundamentally different here. Things that we would be very sensitive in the west are the opposite here. The idea of orderliness versus chaos and the need for control amidst such a vast population; the need to fit in as part of the collective versus stick out: In china you don't stick your head above the parapet ... everyone should know their place... living by a strict set of rules in order to maintain social harmony above all else; this is what underpins so much of what people do and the way people think.

They say that, after a month of living in China, you could write a whole book on it; after a year, however, you might just manage an essay; but after five years? Perhaps you could only come up with a paragraph, as by then your bewilderment will have fully set in and you realize you know very little at all. I’ve come to realize it’s best not to try and kid yourself that you can somehow understand everything that’s going on in Chinese society, at least from a Western rational perspective. Chinese themselves don’t have it all figured out and don’t let that bother them too much. Too caught up in new found material wealth and consumerist lifestyles? Perhaps. But there’s more to it than that. They’re just not as preoccupied with trying to understand the deeper meaning of life, and believe balance (in a yin and yang sort of way) is everything. Perhaps more of us should take a leaf out of traditional Chinese philosophy and just learn how to live a good life and be in peace with your surroundings.

If you have to give advice to someone moving to a different country, what would it be?

Keep an open mind. You need to invest time to try to understand seemingly strange practices. Nothing comes for free. If you want to survival and be successful in a new country you need to adapt this mindset.

You need to be ready to accept differences. It might be difficult to understand at first sight but if you take the time to try and understand the differences, really invest the time, you wont be able to adapt.